For quite some time, questions like these had the potential to ruin my day. There must be an acceptable, healthy answer. Clearly, we need to perform the best way possible to us. However, undue amounts of stress and anxiety can cause all sorts of psychological, emotional, and health problems. How do we reconcile these needs?

Drawing purely on reason and experience, it is my intent to offer an overview of things that have worked for me. Growing up, perfectionism was a frequent part of my life, imposed by someone other than myself. The insatiable compulsion to perform at any level short of perfect still haunts me. This time, it is self-inflicted.

To get past this problem, there is one fact of reality which we must absolutely, unconditionally accept. Perfectionism is truly a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ironically, it is practically an oxymoron. Perfectionism virtually guarantees failure. Over time, we become conditioned to expect failure. This may be part of the anticipatory anxiety we feel when under heavy pressure to execute something with uncompromising perfection. If you take nothing else away from this article, take this: Perfectionism virtually guarantees failure, or at very least, disappointment.

Once that truly sinks into our perception of how the Universe works, it is possible to graduate to the next concept: Not everything we do will turn out exactly as we want or as someone else wants. In reality, most things will not turn out exactly as we would want them to. The hard part is that this must be ok with us. Do not misunderstand. Setting a high bar pushes us to excel. Setting it at the highest possible mark from the outset will virtually always end badly. It may not turn out perfectly, and that’s ok.

When those two concepts become part of the way we think, we can readjust our expectations. How do we know how high to aim?

Again, drawing on intuition and experience, a healthy approach is to start with an inventory. Ask yourself, “What resources do I have at my disposal to perform this task?” Obvious answers might include one or more or the following:

• My computer
• Google (for research, etc.)
• Paper and pen for taking notes
• The proper tools to get the job done
• The knowledge of how to do the project

Yes, those are fine answers. But we want to do our best, right? Let’s think outside the box a little. What about resources like these?

• The closest library
• Someone who has successfully done what you are trying to do
• Your own intuition and reasoning mind
• Taking personal ownership and responsibility for the project
• Anything you have ever done successfully that resembles any step of the project

You see that I mention your own intuition and reasoning mind. Use your head to come up with inventive, creative, and out-of-the-box solutions. Brainstorm solutions, and go crazy with it. Don’t discount any idea. When you’re done, make sure that a possibility will absolutely in no way work before you discard it.

Another enabling force is to take personal interest in the completion of the project. If you don’t know something about part of it, ask whoever does. If you don’t have a needed tool or needed materials, find someone who does. Step up, make it yours, and if appropriate, emotionally invest yourself to a degree in doing your best.

Other people often become a valuable resource for gaining knowledge quickly. Just don’t abuse that resource.

Do detailed research on the parts of the project that you do not fully grasp. Google and the library come into play here. Own the knowledge and understanding of your project.

Take things that you have done that are similar to parts of this project. Evaluate whether they can be adapted to become part of the solution.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Having sunscreen, nice cross-training shoes, some sunglasses, and a pair of shorts will make it much more enjoyable. But in the absence of any of those things, it is still possible. In the end, it comes down to this: Do the best you can now with what you have now.

It would be my pleasure to introduce Fantasie Impromptu Opus 66 by Frederic Chopin.

Of the Chopin that I have played, I am intrigued by his contrasts. Some extremely fast, some slow… some fortissimo, some pianissimo. But the music has a slightly uplifting and ennobling energy to it for me. It evokes some emotion, but it’s more an emotion of peace and tranquility. I just really like it, and wanted to share it with anyone who may benefit from it.

It’s not copyrighted. You can download it from here if you wish: Frederic Chopin – Fantasie Impromptu Opus 66 (your best bet will be the “right-click and ’save target as’” approach)

It seems that our society is causing a kind of social attention deficit disorder. It never allows for peace and quiet. It is a solitary famine which does not cause you to push and grow.

When will I be able to watch the episode of 24 I have on my DVR? How can I ever get all this laundry done? When can I get that email answered? My facebook profile is out of date. My kids feel ignored, I should take them on a walk. The web server is down, I need to get it back up ASAP. I need to get some new shoes. I have to text this person back. I have to win Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I need to win Need for Speed. As soon as I get home from work, I’m going to get that World of Warcraft character up another level.

These types of things keep our minds constantly running at a red-lined pace. An interesting side effect of this is that people get bored to tears if they don’t have that steady stream of instant gratification.

Is it possible to enjoy peace of mind living in our society? Can we ease up a bit and not lose any quality of life? Let’s assume we can, and explore some ways we might accomplish this.

The first approach I would like to suggest is by transferring everything that occupies your mind onto paper. Write down any tasks that you need to accomplish. Any problems that are causing you anxiety. Any accomplishments you want to achieve. Write down everything. Keep this list as a running, changing list. Prioritize each thing. Begin working on the two or three things that are of the highest priority. Doing this relieves your mind of feeling like it has to remember and keep track of everything. Once you write it all down, your brain realizes that nothing will be lost, and that it need not try and keep track of it all. There is another benefit of doing this. Those mental resources that were used to remember and keep track of everything are now freed up to focus on whatever you are doing right at the present moment. Thus, your productivity and performance increase.

This is a great way to help your mind relax and relieve some of the anxiety you may be feeling. This is in preparation to the next step.

Once you have become adept at this technique, there is another which will bring general overall peace of mind. The effect of this technique augments with time. Done properly, it can be healing to your mind, and even to your body. This natural and powerful tool can be used to assist you in becoming a better person. Its primary focus revolves around reflection and introspection.

It has been said that meditation is the language of the soul. You don’t have to wear long robes and live in a monastery to learn effective meditation.

For example, let us try a small experiment. Sit alone in a dimly lit room. You may also wish to lie on a couch. Actively envision in your mind what “nothing” looks and feels like. Once you feel you have achieved this, begin to reflect on uplifting, edifying questions. Meditate and ponder about the things that are of the highest importance in your life. This may include things like ways you might improve your relationship with your spouse, or that of a really close friend, how you can be a better employee or employer, how you can influence the lives of others for the better, or how you can be a better person in general. Infinite are the things about which you may wish to ponder, meditate, or explore.

When thoughts come to your mind, write them down if they meet your moral and ethical criteria.

Make it a goal to do these two things whenever you start to get overwhelmed with the things happening in your life. These two techniques have been useful to me when I have difficulty sleeping, for example.

Prioritize the important things, but leave time to play. Then, think about ways you can improve your life, and contribute to the well-being of those around you.

What about the 3000 white beluga whales that were trapped in the Senyavin Strait? The Russian icebreaker Moskva came to their rescue. The ship played all types of music, but the beluga whales only followed the ship to safety when it played classical music.

Here’s an excerpt from a news article about this event:

“IN one of the more unusual rescue operations in the history of Arctic navigation, a Soviet icebreaker rammed a 15-mile path through thick ice last month to free thousands of trapped white beluga whales.

“The saga of the whales, known in Russia as belukhas or polar dolphins, made for some of the winter’s more suspenseful reading as the icebreaker Moskva raced against time and plunging temperatures to reach the whales before they suffocated or starved in shrinking pools of open water. Like other seafaring mammals, Belugas must rise to the surface to breathe.” [source]

Why did the whales respond as they did?

David Merrill, a high school student in Suffolk, VA performed an experiment on how music affects mice. He took 72 mice and divided them into three groups. One group listened to no music, one group listened to Anthrax for 10 hours a day, and the last group listened to Mozart for 10 hours a day. All the mice were put in a maze. In the beginning, it took all mice an average of 10 minutes to finish the maze. Over time, the control group (no music) mice improved to about five minutes. The Mozart mice improved drastically to just under two minutes. The Anthrax mice took an average of a half an hour to complete the maze. They also became extremely aggressive toward one another.

Here are the conclusions from the experiment:

“David concluded from the experiment, that ‘music does indeed have an effect on the learning abilities of white male mice. Classical music has a very positive effect on their learning abilities, whereas, the hard rock music has an even greater negative effect on their learning abilities.’

“‘Aside from the facts which I have been able to show you today, I can say, from my own view and my own opinion, from observing the mice, that it seemed not only to affect their ability to learn, but their ability to cope, one with another.’ This was reflected even after the experiment was over, David reported.

“‘After the second year of doing this project–as I said, I kept them separate this year, to try to eliminate the fighting–I would take all the mice to a local pet store, just to get rid of them, and give them away. And, when I did this with the Classical and the Control mice, one group at a time, I would put them into two aquariums, and take them away. That’s 24 mice in 20 gallons. I thought that wasn’t that bad, and it wasn’t, for the Classical and the Control. They were fine with one another.

“‘However, when I put the Hard Rock mice in there, within an hour, they had just begun fighting so severely, that I had to separate all the mice. And, I gave them about a week just to ‘chill out,’ I guess you could say, and sort of calm down, because I guess the music had made them so uptight, and had been putting such bad messages into them, that they couldn’t handle one another. So I gave them about a week, just to calm down and settle down. I actually played a little Classical music to them, to see if it would reverse the effects.’

“Even a week later, he reported, the Hard Rock group was still fighting, but he managed to get them to the store alive.

“‘It’s been an interesting project,’ David concluded, ‘and I’ve enjoyed doing it, and I’ve enjoyed the results I found, as well as the research I’ve done. It’s too bad that it’s not a subject that is widely publicized, as widely as it should be, because I found multiple areas of research, which are extremely significant, whether it’s how great the effects of Classical music are on pre-schoolers learning their ABCs, or whether it’s just the bad morals in the hard rock music.

“‘Something very interesting is that these mice could not understand the lyrics, but the music alone was bad enough, much less the lyrics, which the people are subjected to, but the mice weren’t. And, that’s something that I think is pretty significant as well.’” [source]

How does all of this work? Why does it happen? In what ways can music affect us?

Luckily, there is someone who can expound these mysteries and a great many other factors and aspects of music. Dr. Michael Ballam. He gave a couple of Education Week talks on this topic. These talks are free to download:

The Power of Music to Lift and Teach – Michael Ballam, August 17, 1998 during BYU Education Week.

The Healing Power of Music – Michael Ballam, August 16, 1999 during BYU Education Week.

Dr. Ballam also has a CD set on this topic, called “Music and the Mind.” He also did a follow-up called “More Music and the Mind.” If you find the above presentations interesting, I would very highly recommend that you purchase these two sets. They go into great detail on how music affects our minds.

Additionally, for those interested in reading more on the subject, take a look at a book called “The Mozart Effect” by Don Campbell.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/using-new-media-to-support-the-work-of-the-church

This is the transcript of the speech.

As it turns out, there is also an audio file available of it:

MP3 Audio File Available Here

Also, here is another page of BYU Broadcasting podcasts to which you can subscribe:

http://www.byub.org/podcast/

I hope this may be of benefit to someone.

This past Sunday, I attended Ward Conference. In this conference, the Stake Presidency opened up the last 2 hours for a “no-holds-barred” question and answer session, where we could ask absolutely any questions we wanted to ask. One brother asked a question about how to live with all the many “things” that there are to take up our time. I stood up and addressed a technological perspective on how we can benefit from the great resources available on the Internet. This evening, I sent the following email to my bishopric and the brother herein referenced. I present it here in hopes that it may be of benefit to someone. With that, here is the email I sent:

Brethren,
I was grateful for the opportunity to be present in and participate in the Spirit present at the Ward Conference this past Sunday. One of the brethren present asked a question, the exact phrasing of which eludes me at the moment. I do remember that there was a reference to technology in his question. I thought it may be of benefit to stand and share some thoughts with regards to how we can use technology for our benefit. If you have the ability to, and find it to be of benefit to share this with the Stake Presidency, please do. I was unable to locate their email addresses.

I am attending the Stake Institute class every Thursday evening. This past week, I was speaking with the instructor about some of the free technology available that allows us greater access to inspired, uplifting, edifying, instructional, and thought-provoking messages from various authorities and members of the church, and also other experts in their fields.
This brother was curious as to how these amazing resources could be free, and was unfamiliar with the technology of which I spoke. He requested that I explain it a little more, point him to some software that performed the required tasks, and then provide him with the resources available for the software to use.

Because of my comment on Sunday regarding how technology can help and uplift, I thought it might be relevant to forward to you the thoughts that I shared with the Institute instructor.

Much of my efforts at discovering (or even creating, in some cases) a myriad of resources such as this are inspired by the speech given by Elder M. Russell Ballard at Brigham Young University-Hawaii’s graduation ceremony on 15 December 2007, entitled “Using New Media to Support the Work of the Church” available here:

“Using New Media to Support the Work of the Church” – transcript

“Using New Media to Support the Work of the Church” – mp3 download

With this preface, let me share with you an example of the “New Media” to which Elder Ballard refers:

Explanation of Podcasting

Brother [last name witheld],

It was a pleasure speaking with you this past Thursday evening after your uplifting and edifying class. Thank you for bringing the Spirit with you into your presentations. I wanted to share a few things with you in regards to pocasts or podcasting. The first place I would have you reference is wikipedia.org. They give a general description, with links to other concepts with which you may not be famliar, allowing you to explore the topics and ideas as you find necessary and helpful. Here is the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podcasting

Another place that gives a broad overview of podcasting is here:

http://www.ukoln.ac.uk/qa-focus/documents/briefings/briefing-83/html/

If you wish to research the concept further, type “podcast introduction” into Google, and you should find hundreds of useful resources that may clarify the concept a little more.

Podcasting Software

With regards to the software that you can use to retrieve the podcasts, I would recommend Miro, a free application which I have tested myself on Windows Vista. I found it feature-rich and easy to use. Here is a link to the home page for Miro:

http://www.getmiro.com/

It should have a green download button in the middle of the page. Go ahead and download that and install it. When it’s done installing, run the program. The best way to learn how to use the software is by exploration. Click through menus and see where the different options are located. The longer you use it, the more familiar you will become with its various features and configuration options. The key is to just jump in head first.

The functionality you are looking for is the ability to add a feed. The feeds that I will provide below are all “audio” type feeds, and point to (as best as I can tell) church-sponsored speeches, presentations, talks, or devotionals. Every so often, refresh your feeds, and you will see when new talks or presentations are available for download.

LDS Feeds

Here is the list of feeds that I have found:

http://www.byub.org/bookofmormon.rss
http://feeds.lds.org/cesfiresides
http://speeches.byu.edu/rss/podcast1.xml
http://www.byub.org/oldtestament.rss
http://www.byub.org/DoctrineAndCovenants.rss
http://new.ensignpodcast.org/feed.asp?id=2008_11
http://www.byuradio.org/gt.rss
http://www.byub.org/isaiah.rss
http://feeds.feedburner.com/mormonism
http://www.josephsmithpodcast.org/feed.asp
http://feeds2.feedburner.com/ldsvoices
http://speeches.byu.edu/rss/podcast2.xml
http://feeds.lds.org/NewsroomPodcast
http://www.byub.org/newTestamentSeason1.rss
http://www.byub.org/pearlofgreatprice.rss
http://www.byub.org/NewTestamentSeason2.rss
http://feeds.lds.org/Ensign

You may notice that there are a couple of feeds that reference the Ensign. You can get the entire Ensign available in audio format for absolutely free.

As a matter of fact, everything that I am presenting to you in this email is at no cost to yourself. I am simply excited about the Gospel and not many people are aware of this method of immersing themselves in it. I share this with you in hopes that it may be of benefit to you in your personal endeavors to “seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”

The Inspiration

On a very related vein, I have recently listened to a talk by Todd Parker, given at Education Week on August 16, 1999, entitled “True Doctrine, Understood, Changes Attitudes and Behaviors,” and found it incredibly insightful and edifying. Here is a link to it:

http://byubnew.byu.edu/talks/Talk.aspx?id=1618

It is interesting to note that there is no transcript of this talk, due to its being a part of Education Week, and the material is copyright Bro. Parker. So the only way you’ll be able to get this presentation is through the audio recording.

Ironically, in his talk, he references a talk that was written by President Ezra Taft Benson for a Priesthood Meeting. Because everyone before him spoke too long, he was unable to give the talk. However, he did have it printed for all to read in the May 1986 Ensign. Thus, there is no recording of this talk, but it is available in print only. It is called “The Power of the Word”, available from this link:

The Power of the Word

For the longest time, I have been in search of a way to change myself, mainly my psychological, mental, and emotional faults. Finally, I feel like I have an adequate answer, as given by these two talks. It is especially helpful that one came from a living oracle of the Lord in our time.

Forgive my verbosity. I get excited about feasting upon and understanding the Gospel. Before I take any more of your time, I will make an end. Have a marvelous day, and I look forward to hearing your inspired thoughts and lesson next Thursday.

– Scott Morris

Additional Resources

With all the negative out there on the Internet, there are a lot of wonderful, uplifting resources.

If you would like access to more audio files, take a look at these sites:

BYU Speeches

BYU Broadcasting

lds.org Audio Library

BYU-Hawaii Devotionals and Speeches

lds.org Broadcast Archives

Enjoy, and be uplifted.

Why is it so difficult to change? Seemingly, a fair number of people prefer a certain degree of consistency in their lives. Surely, the attraction we have to our comfort zones is stronger than we even believe ourselves. Might this explain why victims of varying kinds of abuse stay with their abusers? Maybe it is because it is too much effort to get outside our comfort zone. Could it be because we are taking the situation at face value? Interestingly, if we take a look at our perceptions, we may discover a key to all of these areas.

Consider the following situation. You are out camping, and it is night. You are nestled into a sleeping bag. Unfortunately, is very cold outside. The sleeping bag by itself isn’t quite enough to keep you warm. You know that in your vehicle, you have some warmer clothes. The catch is that you have to get out of the sleeping bag, put your coat and shoes back on, and go back out into the cold. At first, you may be resistant to do get out of the mostly-warm situation, especially in anticipation of the cold.

Let’s consider another situation. You are driving on a narrow road. A car races up behind you at a high rate of speed. Just when you think the car might hit yours, the car slows and the driver begins flashing the headlights of the car. The intention is obviously for you to get out of the way.

In these two situations, it may seem that you have enough information to make an educated evalutation of what is going on. But what additional information may be of use in either case? In the first, it would be helpful to know what the expected temperature changes might be. Is it going to get colder? Will it be getting warmer? If colder, it may be wise to retrieve the additional clothing. In the second situation, a common reaction may be to offend the other driver in some way. Perhaps to get back at them or to let them know that what they’re doing is not appreciated. But the question to which you cannot know the answer is, “Why is this person driving like this?” What if you knew that they had a child in the car that was experiencing a life-threatening seizure, and they were racing to the hospital to save the child’s life? Your perspective would change quite a bit.

Perceptions Affect Actions

In a large number of cases, if not all, it is our perception which affects how we react to things. And the manner in which we react to things is what builds our character and self-image. If we are to change for the better, we need to adjust our reactions to situations. If we are to accomplish this daunting task, it will be essential to change our perceptions of the situations around us.

Forgive me for sharing a personal example. In the past, I had been known for being an aggressive driver. When anyone did anything in the slightest that I perceived as being offensive or threatening, I would fly off the handle. I might use my car as a barrier, or drive slowly in front of them, or other such inappropriate and offensive things. Arriving late at a destination was very upsetting, so if people drove slowly in front of me, I would get more than slightly aggravated. I might drive closely to their bumper, hanging out the left side a bit so as to ensure they could see me in their driver’s side mirror.

What helped me overcome this? I realized that most people on the road are average drivers. They are just trying to get from point A to point B. They really don’t personally care about me, and I don’t really care about them. In all truth, almost no one is there to offend. Considering the concept of a bell curve, there will luckily be a very small amount of drivers that are on the road with almost no regard for others. On the opposite extreme, there are even a few who are wonderful drivers, yielding the right-of-way quite readily. That said, most people are mediocre drivers. This means that they accidentally cut off other drivers. This all really started sinking in when I inadvertently pulled in front of another driver.

Take a moment and think about the potential of changing our perceptions. Seriously, consider how much of your life right now would be changed for the better if you were to modify your perceptions. If we want to begin changing our lives, one of the first things we can adjust is how we look at things. Try this: start paying attention to how your perceptions affect the way you respond to situations.

Be forewarned, however. There are two things present in human nature that act very effectively as blinders. For the first several times you do this, pay close attention. You will recognize the following factors.

You Are Not A Victim

Firstly, the vast majority of us feel that things happen to us, or that we have no power over a situation. “He cut me off.” “She disrespected me in front of my boss.” “My dad called me a baby in front of my friends.” “I looked like a total idiot when I dropped all my books.” “Why can’t I have a car like that?” “This is just the way that I am. I will always be this way.” “If that idiot would hurry, I could get to work on time.” Most of us are absolutely willing and ready to hand off control of our lives to complete strangers with comments like these. In other words, our society is teaching us to be victims. The first way to adjust your perception is to realize that you can either react with a knee-jerk type of reflex, or you can think about a way that you can proactively respond to the situation. This is very enabling and empowering. You are not a victim. Things don’t happen to you. Your character is built from what choices you make in response to negative situations.

Expand Your View

Second, a large part of the time, we are content to know the facts that we have at hand. We want to justify our feelings of being offended, hurt, jealous, or embarassed. We want to justify feeling injured, and thus justify the reflexive reaction that ensues. What if we were to say, “I wonder what else there is to know about this situation so that I may make an informed decision?” rather than making a fool of ourselves by reacting. Truly, when we are trying to regain control by reacting, this is precisely when we are most out of control. Widen your perspective. Do whatever it takes to get a larger vision of the situation. Many times, we are offended because we don’t fully understand what is happening. Do your due diligence and find out as much as you can so that you can proactively respond to the situation.

Conclusion

Throughout the test that is life, there are many uncomfortable situations that present themselves to us. Our self-image and character can be shaped, in part, by how we proactively assess and respond to these experiences. The more we adjust our perceptions, the better we can respond. The better we get at doing this, the more self-respect we will have, and the more others around us will respect us.

Now, how can you apply this concept in your own life?

You know, it sure would be nice if life had a magic answer. How can I be more successful? How can I have more, stronger relationships? How can I have a better life? The fundamental question here is, “How do I get what I want?” Would you be interested in a solution to these questions?

Ponder on some questions with me, a sort of riddle if you will.

• What gives us so much power that with the right one, there is nothing we cannot do, and with the wrong one, there is nothing that can help us?
• It is contagious, much like a smile or a yawn.
• It is also magnetic, attracting things of similar nature. If it is the right one, it attracts good situations, influences, and opportunities. If it is bad, it attracts bad ones.
• This one thing can affect the outcome of almost anything we do.
• It can give us whatever quality of life we want.
• We have full control over it.

How many of us stop to think about this principle? Thomas Jefferson penned these words: “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” Do you believe what he says here? From a lifetime of experience, it has been made clear to me that this is one of those Universal objective truths. Our disposition about our surroundings and situations have a more profound affect upon them than almost anything else. Our attitudes give direction to the outcome of our efforts before we have done anything else to accomplish our objectives. Ponder the far-reaching meaning of this principle. You can defeat your own self before you even start. You can mentally vow that the only acceptable way out of any situation is after success. You can do either one with a simple attitude.

Do you honestly believe this true principle?

The Power of Attitudes

Funny things, attitudes. They are easy to spread. Project or act out your attitude to anyone you come in contact with. People around you will respond to it and many of them will adopt it. You can impact the lives of those around you by adopting and radiating your attitude. Now, you have a room, house, or company full of people who are empowered and enabled. Where one person with a positive mindset can accomplish a lot, a group with the right attitude can put a man on the moon, or make a map of human DNA, or lay the foundations of government for a new nation.

The disposition or mindset that we adopt has more than just an enabling power. Our attitude will also attract similar situations, influences, and opportunities. Let’s suppose that we have an enabling attitude. When an opportunity to improve presents itself to us, we are more likely to notice and take action than if we had a bad attitude. When we seize these opportunities and act on them, we have made progress in the right direction. We attract empowering people, as well.

Our attitude can give us whatever quality of life we want.

We can also change our attitude because we have full control over it.

Consider this thought from Charles Swindoll:

“Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Call to Action

Do you want to change your attitude? Brainstorm ways! Here are some suggestions:

What if you were to come up with a Mission Statement for your life? State in present terms the attitudes and person you want to become. Read it daily. Confirm in your mind that you are, in fact, such a person. You can even enjoy and be thankful that you are such a person. This will change your attitude very effectively. I will talk in more detail about a Life Mission Statement in a future article.

Adapt a habit of noticing things for which you are thankful. Keep a list of them. When you start to feel like complaining or feeling down, pull out your list. Go through each thing and explain to yourself why you are thankful for it. Poor attitudes cannot stay long when you adopt this habit.

Having trouble getting along with someone? Get into the habit of noticing things you like about them. Each time you think of something, write it down in a list. Seek out ways to serve them. Again, keep a list of these service opportunities. Look for things that you can joke with them about. This creates a fun thread in the fabric of your relationship with them. Look for common interests that you have with that person. It is easier to terminate a relationship than it is to forge one. Having an attitude of “success is the only option” will help you fortify and strengthen important relationships, such as a spouse. If you need to do this exercise with a close friend or family member, those are relationships worth the trouble.

How else can you adopt a positive attitude?

"Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference." – Joel Barker Ever thought about what makes some people so successful? You think it is because they are excessively more intelligent than the rest? Do you honestly believe it is because they have been bestowed with some special superpower that elevates them above the remainder of humanity? You think that it is because every idea they have is brilliant?

Forget it.

The Easy Lesson of Success

What they do have, however, is an understanding of a particular fact. As they say, "knowledge is power." What is this key fact or insight? It is the concept that good ideas by themselves accomplish but little. Those who have gone the distance understand that to enjoy success, you have to work. There is no easy way, no shortcut. If you aren’t willing to work, you might as well stop reading here.

Another related truth is, "knowing is half the battle." Well, what is the other half? Before you jump in, eager to prove that you’ve learned your lesson from the previous paragraph and shout "work!", let’s move onto the second lesson. A good idea and lots of work won’t do it, either. The idea is like a vehicle. The work is like a big engine. But without systematic assessment of where you are headed and appropriate course changes, you have nothing to gauge progress. You have no direction. Like Alice in Wonderland, if you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?

Now, we have a nice formula for success:

idea + direction + work = success

One mistaken belief held by many is that the idea has to be some earth-shattering innovation never before seen by humanity. They think they have to come up with something brilliant. Again, this is way off. The least important element of this formula is how good of an idea it is. Many people do things that have been done for millenia. Think of people who open restaurants or clothing stores. You think these are new and innovative ideas? Do you really think that has anything to do with how new and innovative your idea is? Please, get this out of your head now. It is the organized direction, ability to gauge your progress, and the amount of all-out work you are willing to put in.

Of the formula mentioned above, the principle of hard work is a very simple one to grasp. You just work hard and be as honest as you possibly can. Do everything to the best of your ability. Do correctly what you can do now. Jump in and get going. "Do it. Do it right. Do it right now." Please tell me if this requires more explanation.

It is the concept of "direction" that deserves some explanation and insight.

Direction and Measuring Progress

How, then, can we define our ability to monitor our direction? What tells us whether we are getting nearer to "success"? How will we know when we’ve become successful? You have to come up with a road map, define check points, anticipate possible problems that may arise, consider the resources you will have along the way, and define what your "success" will be so you know when you get there. No one jumps in a car and drives in a straight line to their destination. This would be hugely dangerous. You would be jumping curbs and driving through peoples’ living rooms in short order. You have to outline a path. Consider the one that is the most promising (notice I didn’t say "easiest"), most direct, and has the least life-threatening obstacles.

What I would like to discuss with you is a tried-and-true methodical approach to outlining your road map to success. This secret has been in our family and businesses for years.

You can remember this method with the acronym APROPOS. This method can be applied to personal growth, projects at work, an exercise plan, or any other type of accomplishment upon which you may embark. Let’s take a look at each step.

Aim

What is your final goal? Where are you headed? Where do you want to be when you are done? What is your objective? How will you know when you have arrived at this destination? Write out a statement in clear, specific details, including measurable behaviors and dates. This gives you a general direction and clear endpoint.

Position Audit

Where am I now in relationship to this final goal? In relationship to where I want to be, what is a clear, specific analysis of my current situation? Be honest and open in your definitions here. Acknowledging weaknesses and areas of mediocrity in this step will be in your best interest in the end. Don’t be afraid to call a spade a spade here.

Resources

What is needed in terms of time, people, money, behavior, and/or other tools that are available to help close the gap? Specific description of those resources is most effective. In other words, what resources do you have available to you right now that will help you accomplish your Aim?

Obstacles and Opportunities

As you set out to close the gap, what will lie in your way and what may be able to help you? Give specific details. How can you recognize any roadblocks or detours? How will you know what is on the main highway? What are the consequences of not overcoming the obstacles and what are the benefits of taking advantage of the opportunities?

Program

What is the long-term plan to close the gap or achieve your aims? This is a broad outline of a three to five year plan. Define specific, measurable long-term goals that will get you from where you are now, to the aim you wish to accomplish.

Objective

These are mid-term tactics that are a more structured plan for the one to three year range. Make sure to state your goals in specific, measurable terms so that you will know when you have reached them.

Steps

What are the action steps needed from now through one year out that clearly outline the path that you should take? This will spell out dates to be calendared (schedules), how any money is to be spent (budget), and answers the questions: Who? What? Where? How? Why? When? The action steps also include a review section which reports the results, your thoughts, and feelings. This is called a journal. There is a review of the action steps at the beginning of each day, at the beginning of each week, and at the beginning of each month.

Goals

Goal setting is the basis of each of the steps of APROPOS outlined above. We have all outlined goals for ourselves before. It is worth mentioning that there are effective and less-effective ways to set goals. If you set general, vague goals that are hard to measure, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Make goals specific, clear, and easy to measure.

Bad Goal: Get in shape.

Good Goal: By January 1, 2008, I will be able to run a mile in 6 minutes and 30 seconds. I will accomplish this goal by running no less than 1 mile every day for 6 days a week. I will measure the time it takes to run a mile once a week to monitor my progress.

Conclusion

Good ideas are nice, but they don’t get you there. Hard work, even when paired with a good idea can’t do it, either. It is only when you have a decent idea that is clearly defined, and have a detailed structure of measurable goals in place that you will find yourself gravitating towards the success that you seek. Find yourself an idea, decide you will work hard, and then set up a structure using APROPOS. You can’t help but achieve success.