For quite some time, questions like these had the potential to ruin my day. There must be an acceptable, healthy answer. Clearly, we need to perform the best way possible to us. However, undue amounts of stress and anxiety can cause all sorts of psychological, emotional, and health problems. How do we reconcile these needs?

Drawing purely on reason and experience, it is my intent to offer an overview of things that have worked for me. Growing up, perfectionism was a frequent part of my life, imposed by someone other than myself. The insatiable compulsion to perform at any level short of perfect still haunts me. This time, it is self-inflicted.

To get past this problem, there is one fact of reality which we must absolutely, unconditionally accept. Perfectionism is truly a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ironically, it is practically an oxymoron. Perfectionism virtually guarantees failure. Over time, we become conditioned to expect failure. This may be part of the anticipatory anxiety we feel when under heavy pressure to execute something with uncompromising perfection. If you take nothing else away from this article, take this: Perfectionism virtually guarantees failure, or at very least, disappointment.

Once that truly sinks into our perception of how the Universe works, it is possible to graduate to the next concept: Not everything we do will turn out exactly as we want or as someone else wants. In reality, most things will not turn out exactly as we would want them to. The hard part is that this must be ok with us. Do not misunderstand. Setting a high bar pushes us to excel. Setting it at the highest possible mark from the outset will virtually always end badly. It may not turn out perfectly, and that’s ok.

When those two concepts become part of the way we think, we can readjust our expectations. How do we know how high to aim?

Again, drawing on intuition and experience, a healthy approach is to start with an inventory. Ask yourself, “What resources do I have at my disposal to perform this task?” Obvious answers might include one or more or the following:

• My computer
• Google (for research, etc.)
• Paper and pen for taking notes
• The proper tools to get the job done
• The knowledge of how to do the project

Yes, those are fine answers. But we want to do our best, right? Let’s think outside the box a little. What about resources like these?

• The closest library
• Someone who has successfully done what you are trying to do
• Your own intuition and reasoning mind
• Taking personal ownership and responsibility for the project
• Anything you have ever done successfully that resembles any step of the project

You see that I mention your own intuition and reasoning mind. Use your head to come up with inventive, creative, and out-of-the-box solutions. Brainstorm solutions, and go crazy with it. Don’t discount any idea. When you’re done, make sure that a possibility will absolutely in no way work before you discard it.

Another enabling force is to take personal interest in the completion of the project. If you don’t know something about part of it, ask whoever does. If you don’t have a needed tool or needed materials, find someone who does. Step up, make it yours, and if appropriate, emotionally invest yourself to a degree in doing your best.

Other people often become a valuable resource for gaining knowledge quickly. Just don’t abuse that resource.

Do detailed research on the parts of the project that you do not fully grasp. Google and the library come into play here. Own the knowledge and understanding of your project.

Take things that you have done that are similar to parts of this project. Evaluate whether they can be adapted to become part of the solution.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Having sunscreen, nice cross-training shoes, some sunglasses, and a pair of shorts will make it much more enjoyable. But in the absence of any of those things, it is still possible. In the end, it comes down to this: Do the best you can now with what you have now.

It seems that our society is causing a kind of social attention deficit disorder. It never allows for peace and quiet. It is a solitary famine which does not cause you to push and grow.

When will I be able to watch the episode of 24 I have on my DVR? How can I ever get all this laundry done? When can I get that email answered? My facebook profile is out of date. My kids feel ignored, I should take them on a walk. The web server is down, I need to get it back up ASAP. I need to get some new shoes. I have to text this person back. I have to win Guitar Hero and Rock Band. I need to win Need for Speed. As soon as I get home from work, I’m going to get that World of Warcraft character up another level.

These types of things keep our minds constantly running at a red-lined pace. An interesting side effect of this is that people get bored to tears if they don’t have that steady stream of instant gratification.

Is it possible to enjoy peace of mind living in our society? Can we ease up a bit and not lose any quality of life? Let’s assume we can, and explore some ways we might accomplish this.

The first approach I would like to suggest is by transferring everything that occupies your mind onto paper. Write down any tasks that you need to accomplish. Any problems that are causing you anxiety. Any accomplishments you want to achieve. Write down everything. Keep this list as a running, changing list. Prioritize each thing. Begin working on the two or three things that are of the highest priority. Doing this relieves your mind of feeling like it has to remember and keep track of everything. Once you write it all down, your brain realizes that nothing will be lost, and that it need not try and keep track of it all. There is another benefit of doing this. Those mental resources that were used to remember and keep track of everything are now freed up to focus on whatever you are doing right at the present moment. Thus, your productivity and performance increase.

This is a great way to help your mind relax and relieve some of the anxiety you may be feeling. This is in preparation to the next step.

Once you have become adept at this technique, there is another which will bring general overall peace of mind. The effect of this technique augments with time. Done properly, it can be healing to your mind, and even to your body. This natural and powerful tool can be used to assist you in becoming a better person. Its primary focus revolves around reflection and introspection.

It has been said that meditation is the language of the soul. You don’t have to wear long robes and live in a monastery to learn effective meditation.

For example, let us try a small experiment. Sit alone in a dimly lit room. You may also wish to lie on a couch. Actively envision in your mind what “nothing” looks and feels like. Once you feel you have achieved this, begin to reflect on uplifting, edifying questions. Meditate and ponder about the things that are of the highest importance in your life. This may include things like ways you might improve your relationship with your spouse, or that of a really close friend, how you can be a better employee or employer, how you can influence the lives of others for the better, or how you can be a better person in general. Infinite are the things about which you may wish to ponder, meditate, or explore.

When thoughts come to your mind, write them down if they meet your moral and ethical criteria.

Make it a goal to do these two things whenever you start to get overwhelmed with the things happening in your life. These two techniques have been useful to me when I have difficulty sleeping, for example.

Prioritize the important things, but leave time to play. Then, think about ways you can improve your life, and contribute to the well-being of those around you.